Mitzvah d'var

A Few Words on Words and Torah 

When I first started thinking of having a Bat Mitzvah Rabbi David said, FIRST, you have to learn to read Hebrew. Hebrew is a difficult language to learn. First you have to learn to read it without context. Then you learn the meanings. That is what the D’var is about. Learning to read Torah and then learning the meaning behind the words, which is subject to interpretation. Like the expression, two Jews three opinions, scholars throughout the ages have sought to understand and interpret the Torah. D’var, meaning word, talk or thing, is talk or word of the Torah. Reading commentaries from throughout the ages and asking questions is a critical part of Torah study. Questions lead to more questions and fresh interpretations with no single truth. The Torah recounts our history and we read it each year, divided into weekly sections or parashot. My portion or parashah is Ki Tisa, the Golden Calf. There is the question about whether all of the characters are real or whether the stories account for actual occurrences, dates and ages. Regardless of whether or not the event I will talk about actually occurred, what is most important is what we can learn from it and carry in our hearts. 

The headlines would read something like this: MOSES COMMANDS THE ISRAELITES TO KILL SOME 3000 OF THEIR GROUP AFTER LEARNING THAT THEY WORSHIPED AN IDOL. This was a disturbing revelation to me, so I started asking friends and family if they remembered this as part of the story. Many responded that there are a lot of horrific tales like this in religion and throughout history. So I wondered what could I do with that? Should I just take it for granted that this is part of human history?

This part of the story occurs after the Israelites traveled through the desert for 40 years fleeing Egyptian soldiers, and finally escaping to freedom. The Israelites are waiting for Moses to return with the tablets, inscribed by God’s hand, of the 10 Commandments. The refugee Israelites no doubt are challenged by living in tents in the harsh desert environment, having just been given freedom from slavery and survived great hardship. There is intense heat in the desert during the day and cold temperatures at night, with no knowledge of what would come next. Moses has been gone for 40 days. With the protracted absence of Moses and uncertainty about whether he would return, some of the Israelites convinced Aaron to make a Golden Calf as a symbol of strength to protect them, and as a vessel for God to appear. Monotheism was asking them to believe in an invisible God which could not be seen and whose essence was neither human nor physical. 

Aaron melted all their gold and miraculously out of the fire came a golden calf, thus, Moses would say, breaking the first and second commandments: NO IDOLS AND BELIEF IN ONE GOD. They had already heard these words thru Moses upon their arrival in the foothills of Mt. Sinai. “I the Eternal am your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt. and You shall not make for yourself a sculpted image…” During Moses’ descent God let him know about what had gone on in the camp and wanted to punish the stiff-necked Israelites. Moses plead leniency on their behalf, but when he returned to camp and saw them worshiping the Golden Calf in joyful revelry, he smashed the tablets, had the calf melted down and had the Israelites drink the bitter solution thereby eating their words. Then (here’s the part I had forgotten or wasn’t aware of) he ordered his followers to go through the camp preparing themselves for action” to slay “sibling, neighbor and kin.“ In the next verse we learn that some 3,000 people fell that day. KISHLOSHET ALFEI ISH. I was stunned when I read this and thought about picking another section of the Parsha, but then felt it was more important than ever to find a way to understanding why this is a part of the story at this point. 

Why would Moses do this after protecting the Israelites from God’s wrath? What exactly was the sin the Israelites committed? Isn’t it also a sin to kill? Why did Aaron make the Golden calf and why wasn’t he held accountable? What does this story mean and more importantly, how could I continue on my path to a deeper commitment to Judaism, when this atrocity is a part of it. The God in my beliefs helps make us better humans, my God engenders love, creation, compassion, justice and peace; all constructs I revere. So how could Moses do this, in God’s name no less? 

For many scholars, fear along with disillusionment and disappointment could account for Moses and G-d’s harshness. There is general agreement that within the camp, anxiety and impatience were rising and the situation was filled with uncertainty, so said Yehudah Halevi (the 12th century Spanish philosopher). Halevi also held that those who demanded the Golden Calf were really not idolaters, but simply desperate to have some tangible object of worship like the other nations nearby, without repudiating God. Making images for worship was an accepted religious practice in ancient times. Moses must have been wrestling with all of this, as well as his passion for the concept of God as one, Adonai Echad. 

What if, though, Moses had paused to try to understand and practice compassion… instead of ordering his followers to go to the gateposts, and kill sibling, neighbor and kin. V’HIRGU ISH ET ACHIV, V’ISH ET REAYHU? Moses, disillusioned and frustrated upon returning the camp, must have been utterly dismayed and then enraged. 

My own faith was challenged when I read the passage. Slaves followed Moses out of Egypt, believing in the promise of a better future, but without Moses, where were they? So they called upon older practices that had provided security in the past, as did Moses by waging tribal battle against his fellow Israelite enemies. It is a natural human process, faced with adversity we turn to practices that brought us comfort in the past, even when they are destructive. But other possibilities and other stories can also emerge. And this I think is the central point. Interpretation of the Torah provides us with the possibility of several narratives. Israeli poet Yoram Nissonovitch remarked that “religious questions may not constitute the subversion of our faith; rather, they may help us get past tired notions that narrow our vision and it may open our souls to new and deeper understandings” (Lev Shalem, p 155). By asking questions about my own faith, I have tried to get past old patterns that I inhabit. 

Weaving my tallit, I realized that I had made some mistakes and it was too late to go back and correct them. The mistakes will remain and will be reminders to me of the process and of what I need to do differently next time. Moses made mistakes as well, We all do. I had an insight while weaving that growth involves imperfection. History cannot be corrected, but it is important that we learn from it. My imperfections show daily. I can be intolerant of others because they chew too loudly or hold their fork differently or are grammatically incorrect. I shout when I become impatient, sorry kids, I curse when I drop something, I am critical of others when they load the dishwasher wrong, sorry Mac. I don’t practice what I preach. I waste electricity and water. Redemption comes at Yom Kippur once a year when I can start over and try again, a little more aware, a little more sensitive. I know the correct way, but I slip up every once in a while. Yet, ultimately, redemption comes from continuously learning from my ongoing mistakes and changing the narrative.

We read daily about continuing strife and conflict around the world, and at home where we are experiencing challenges to democracy. Sometimes, hopefully we win over oppression, but sometimes we use oppression to win. Rabbi Art Green wrote about the “Paradox Jew” (as opposed to the orthodox Jew) and I think this is part of it—the paradox of being human. I hope that one take away from this story is the sense that we are all part of one universe, striving, achieving and also failing. These are also opportunities for growth. The struggles and challenges we face daily are our greatest teachers. Meaning can emerge through our deepest listening even when we disagree. Rash actions can result in misunderstanding or in the extreme, even war and ultimately, death. Let’s remember this and not take for granted violence as a necessary evil for humankind to endure even in the Torah. Let us strive to promote peace for ourselves and others. Shabbat Shalom.